vol.171 Alice Nine Interview (p.44-63)

“It has been long time.....” Saga mumbled when the shooting of the magazine cover started. He had been waiting for this moment for 6 years. 6 years. Since he had been longing to be part of the Visual kei scene, he started playing instruments, made a band for the first time, and had been dreaming about the moment he would be on the cover of a magazine. Hearing these words of Saga, members nodded gently.

SHOXX, which started as the first special magazine for Visual kei, has kept watching various bands grow in the ‘Visual kei’ scene. The many artists who appear in SOXX now used to be reading the magazine looking at articles of their seniors. This is their chance to continue history.

alice nine.. They are the main artists who should lead the Visual scene anew. It was the first memorial cover of SHOXX for them. Their single [JEWELS] made alice nine.’s style, and has been concreted through this cover.

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This time I’ll ask you about your new single [JEWELS] which is released on March 21^st. You released the single CD after about 1 year from the last single CD, and you had a quite long interval. Did you intend that?

Hiroto: We didn’t intend it like “We’ll have an interval for something.”, but after we released『Zekkei shoku』( released on April 2006) which was quite challenging, so I think we started searching for something ‘more like alice nine.’ naturally, moving forward.

Shou: Yes. We didn’t want to finish that album in only one tour. We wanted to prolong it for about 2 tours, and treasure it more. Usually after we finish our album, we do our tour playing songs from the album.

Of course you also play the album’s songs after the tour, but in the tour after releasing the album, the live set lists are usually composed mainly with songs of the album, and if there are single releases, you’re sure to play the single songs in the lives after that, so you also have songs which you don’t play in your lives.

Shou: Yeah. There was that and we didn’t want to prolong it forcibly, but we really wanted to treasure the album『Zekkei shoku』which was really a big presence or part of us.

Hiroto: I think so too. And in『Zekkei shoku』and the tour afterward, we had a feeling that we could see and catch the aspect like ‘how we, alice nine. should be’, then we released a single a little different to before, I think.

I see. So around when did you start creating this single? I remember you saying ‘We are creating a single now.’.

Nao: Yes. We started it around in last autumn. This time we had two meetings to select our songs. We chose from about 10 songs.

Did you have any theme?

Nao: Well, we just had a theme of ‘We should be really like alice nine..’. We wanted to make people really feel the present us.

Shou: We had something which we could see after we made the album and something which we held dear since we made this band, but we think our selling point is ‘catchy and melodious’ so we thought we wanted to research this part more.

Tora: When we say catchy, we mean not only bright, but also hard sounds that give dark impressions, you will find that melodies are always steadily present.

Saga: Yes. It might be ‘melodies matching to alice nine.’ or ‘catchy only in alice nine..

Shou: Yes. This time, we selected 3 songs, with pop among them.

I see. Well, let’s talk about the songs one by one. The title song [JEWELS] is written by Saga.

Saga: Yes. In this song I made the vocals and melody the most important. And we created the song mixing our originalities which we have made up until now and which we newly arranged. This time the way we created the song wasn’t usual. Usually I make the mood, or backgrounds, but this time I made codes and melodies of the song. I wanted to make a song that is comfortable to listen to, but a vocal song, with words that remain in your ears.

Tora: The original song was so pop that we really cared about how we arranged it as an alice nine. song. We didn’t want to make it just pop, and spent time to arrange rock to be in it. It’s not only for this song but for the other two songs, too. This song contains the most synchronization out of the three songs, so I made most of the synchronization and backing.

Hiroto: We showed the song off and really thought about band dynamics.

I felt the depth of the song.

Hiroto: That’s right! We wanted to make the sound three-dimensional in this song. We decided not to mix it all into one, but to have each sound stand out respectively. I played guitar feeling like it was ‘made by Hiroto’.(laugh)

‘Made by Hiroto’ ? What’s that?(laugh)

Hiroto: I played guitar feeling like I wouldn’t insist on doing it but ‘I’ll do this song.’(laugh)

Nao: When Saga let me listen to this song, I fell in love with the melody.

Saga: How you can say such a thing with a calm face?(laugh)

Nao: Ahahaha. It’s nice to see Saga smile. But I really felt so. I made it thinking that many people would listen to it, so I think it became to be a song that you really feel an expanse. Personally I played drums thinking about how the drums are put in our songs, so that was my first experience making the vocals the center and playing drums to make the vocals stand out. I was sure to be “Made by Nao”, too.(laugh)

Shou: Saga’s songs are so pure and clear, opposite to his image.

Saga: Wait. I’m a man of purity!(laugh)

Shou: Well, calm down all.(laugh) I felt pure like white in this song, so I tried to write the lyrics without complicated feelings. Anyway, I wanted to write about a pure love which I really want to do something for someone. At that time I read a book about parents raising a child who isn’t related by blood with their love, so I combined such a story and my good memories together, took the best, and like brilliant cuts of jewels, completed it like the image of sparkling angles.

Saga: Well, I’ll tell you, there wasn’t a song which people don’t die, until then.(laugh)

Shou: Ahahaha. Maybe so.(laugh) That’s because many of your songs are quite fantastic. In [DEAD SCHOOL SCREAMING] people don’t die, but it’s a story which a machinegun is shot around in a school, so surely someone dies catching a bullet…..(laugh) In contrast, Hiroto’s songs have more humanity in the lyrics, I think. They are so energetic. Most of Tora’s songs are stylish, so I can write lyrics freely. I think I can express my words very honestly. These days I start feeling different drawn by different composers. I really sing with my words really expressing this musical world in this song.

The 2^nd song [ROSARIO] is the song which I really felt alice nine..

Tora: Yes. This song is most like alice nine. among the 3 songs, I think. I confirmed its arrangement in my head soon after I listened to the original song without thinking about it.

Saga: This song was made by me too, which was nominated as a lead song in our first meeting to select songs.

Hiroto: Since hearing this song for the first time it really sparked my imagination. In [JEWELS] I played guitar to show off the song, but in this song I played guitar to stand out, like I was playing on my own. I felt like I was expressing the images of my feelings using my guitar.

Nao: I think this song is like a hidden A track. The theme of the drums in this song was ‘drumming freely and comfortably’.

Shou: I wrote the lyrics about feelings not about concrete things. But the theme was a ‘sparkling’ feeling connecting to the 1^st song, and I think it expresses strongly the sincere feeling which I want to give to others. The flow from [NUMBER SIX] came out strongly, I think.

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 [ “13”] is the song made by Tora, so it’s a kind of dark song.

Tora: Yes. This song is only included in the normal edition, and straight rock. We also wanted to play music which anyone can play, but play it like alice nine..

Saga: We had difficulties because it’s simple. But we could pursue and complete the coolness just because it’s simple. It’s a strong song I played heavy and hard sounds with 4 strings.

Hiroto: It’s more like a live song, so we cared about playing together, and pursued a live feeling in a flow. It’s a song where you can feel our live performance, I think.

Nao: In this song, we also pursued speedy and free feelings. I could play drums as I wanted to in this song too. The16 beat rhythm is great I think.

Shou: As I said before, this song was made by Tora, and I wrote the lyrics straightly and freely. As I’m interested in the Middle Ages recently, I wrote lyrics about ‘memories, feelings, relations’ comparing with stories about Christ and Judas. I felt a decision within the chaos in this music, so I put such a message in this song. After this single was finished, I realized what we got from our tour of last year. It’s the single we expressed so much of what we learnt from our tour. But what we learnt was so much that we couldn’t express all of it yet. So we think we will be able to make good use of what we learnt last year. If we’ll do so, we could grow in different way, and we could see something new, I think. Such new growth would continue to our next year, and then the year after when we would grow even more, which I hope would continue forever. I hope we can bring the band: alice nine. up not in haste, but slowly and firmly.

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Shou

How is Shou recently?

How am I?(laugh) Well, these days I think I have become more manly in how I think. I went back to my former way of thinking, I guess. I preferred hard core music which I listened to and played in a band. I was wanting to be a ‘’manly man’ and once I had been in such a world, I was quite manly in my character and how to think. But since I met the Visual kei genre, I became delicate in how I think.(laugh) That’s just ‘being influenced’, I think.(laugh)  

Yes. The world of lyrics is totally different. By having a different take on things means you see or feel many new things, and probably the way you interpret these things change in you, Shou.

Yes. It was really like that. In my adolescence, I didn’t have many experiences in the world, so I was easy influenced by something new. In an extreme story, I wasn’t influenced at all until yesterday and I rather resisted against it, but after an unexpected prompt I became attracted and absorbed in it. Well, my character itself won’t change totally, but as you said now, because the angle or take on things changed, my way of thinking also gradually changed.

At around that age, it’s the time when the things that influenced you the most return to you. It’s easy to see, as it also influences your taste in clothes.

Yes! I used to be really manly in my appearance, too. I liked street wear, and wore such clothes always. I’m sorry to say badly, but at that time, I thought Visual kei was girlie. If my high school friends would see the present me, I’m sure they would be surprised, saying “OMG! You are doing the Visual kei scene?”.

But Shou, you said you were influenced by LUNA SEA, didn’t you?

Yes. In my junior high school, I respected LUNA SEA very much. At around the same time, I really like THE MAD CAPSULE MARKET, too. For me, LUNA SEA wasn’t Visual kei, but ‘a rock band which cared about their Visual appearance as well’. So I didn’t think I was addicted to Visual kei. But once I was addicted to it, my clothes and my thinking changed. Is there any better way to say it? Saying girlie might be misleading…..

It’s like you to take care in how you say things, Shou. Being careful not to offend anyone. But it’s OK, they understand you. Instead using the word ‘girlie’, it seems to me that they expose their inner weakness in their lyrics. Visual kei seems more delicate than punk style.

Yes. I agree with you. I felt like I became interested in the Visual kei scene later than others, so when I became a vocalist in this scene, I tried to catch up to the world around me. So I didn’t wear street clothes anymore. Then I became used to it.(laugh) But recently, I became more natural again, not enough to wear street wear yet, but I listen to music which I used to, and my way of thinking has become more manly, I think. No real reason or cause really.

It might be because you could connect to your inner-self, so you could come back to your original self. Before you tried to fit yourself into an image, but now you have confidence yourself.

Ah, that may be true. I don’t think I have a feeling of oppression like ‘I have to be like this.”, anymore. alice nine. played a big part in this. Last year we had only 2 tours, then I had several moments when I thought “I can make the rounds without being forced to.”. Before then, as I told you in previous interviews, I felt like “I should be like this as alice nine..” so strongly that I forced myself to do different things. But I could see “This is enough.”, then I could be a little more relaxed and thought “This is us; alice nine. as we are.”. When we showed ourselves as strong, putting on a bravado, our inner selves were very week. We don’t need to do that now, I feel our inner-selves have become very strong and we have come back to the original us. When I listened to hard core music before, I was attracted to the emotional and open parts, not the aggressive parts. Now I’m feeling so, very open.

You don’t worry about the small things in life, do you?

Well, ….it’s my nature to tend to look around too much. For example, as I said before, when I sleep I think in my bed about “Did I hurt anyone by what I said today?”. I still think about these things now.

So how have you become manly?

I don’t think about myself and my music as much, because I have a strong confidence of “this is good”. Before, I was thinking about it too much.

I see. Before in your adolescence, what did you think about most?

I grew up having special education for gifted children since I was about 3 years old. I went to a cram school 5 days in a week. So my grades were good in public school, but once I entered into a private junior high school, there were older kids there, then I found I didn’t have my own personality or couldn’t express myself for the first time. Then I wanted to die thinking like “Is there any reason why I’m living? Where is my personality? Who loves me?”, because I thought I wasn’t loved by my parents, because I couldn’t live up to their expectations. I was doing my best until around the 4^th grade of elementary school, then I started to skip school secretly. I think back now and think that humans try to find a way to protect themselves and escape. I think I made my balance by escaping from it, not going against it. But now when I see that time standing one step to the side, I understand that my parents made me study hard because they loved me. My parents made me study hard not because they are doctors or they wanted me to be a doctor, but they are common people so they wanted me to have something, and made me go to a cram school.

Well, we often understand love and meaning of things afterwards.

Yes. I really think so. So I don’t want to miss a thing now. I want to live holding important things dear and doing my best. Especially as I met alice nine. and many others because of them, I really want to sing my best too.

I’m very impressed the phrases of “Could you make me sing beside you?” in the lyrics in this new single [JEWELS]. I think that your lyrics really say your feelings as you did now.

Yes. That seems to be everything for me at the moment.

So if the present Shou gave fans advice ‘how to live’, what would he say?

I’m not really one to give advice because I’m not so experienced and still immature, but now I really feel that “We can’t live alone.”. I found that through my club activities and alice nine., I want fans to have many experiences so that they can feel connections and bonds with others. As for the shooting of the cover, there are editorial staff who composed the set for us, writers who organize and make drafts from my incomprehensible talking, designers, make up artists, and many people who help us to be here, which we thank very much. I want to feel all these people’s love everyday. I will never forget it and want to grow too.

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Hiroto

Do you feel any change in you, Hiroto, these days?

Yes. I think I can see myself a little bit more objectively these days.

Oh, do you? Hiroto, you are a hot-blooded man like a wild boar just running around (laugh), so it’s a quite change. 

You think so too?(laugh) Basically I’m like a wild boar rushing head first.(laugh) But these days I found my negative part, I’m positive for everything, so I make a head first rush into everything to cover my weakness.

It was not because you didn’t want to show it, but because you yourself didn’t want to know the negative presence in you.

Yes. I thought I could pretend to be unaware of it because I didn’t want to know it. But once, I thought I really couldn’t grow up if I didn’t admit my weakness and live.

Was there any prompt?

Yes. These days people who know of alice nine. are increasing in many places, and I thought that I couldn’t go to where I was aiming to unless I look at myself more deeply. Until then, I thought I really didn’t have any weak parts. But I just thought that, and if I saw my weak parts I might be afraid of myself, I thought. But now I feel that I can face my weak parts, because I gradually became to live as alice nine., which is okay.

If a person has confidence in something, he or she can also recognize their weakness too. You won’t struggle to show yourself to be strong anymore, because you are already strong.

Yes, I think so.

But surely you have passion because you’re so young when I see you on stage. You are so lively.(laugh)

Ahahaha. You mean the passion which is like a hooked fish jumping on land, don’t you?(laugh) Like ‘a flood of passion!’.(laugh) I actually feel that too so I can understand it. It really seems like ‘young passion’.

Yes. When we grow up, our passion isn’t shown on the outside, but kept it internally.

Yes. I really think so. The inner passion is a true passion. My passion until now was not a lie nor a fake, and it seemed really out there in your face. Honestly speaking, when we started alice nine., I felt totally like that. I was young and less experienced than other members, which I thought would let others look down on me. I hate to lose, so I really put on bravado.

Well, I see. Have you always hated losing?

Yes. I heard that I hated to lose even before I entered into kindergarten.(laugh) When I was 2 or 3 years old, I tried to learn how to read a clock and do mathematics.(laugh)　Anyway, I couldn’t forgive myself if I couldn’t do things that others could. I think I have been living trying to do everything beyond my ability at any time. And I hated to show I was doing my best. I worked very hard secretly and I wanted to do it so easy without any effort in public. I felt like I was always living like that until now.

And you changed recently.

Yes. These days I now think that working hard is not bad, and having a weak part makes people stay strong. And it was good that I became to think that people can’t grow up alone. I think working hard secretly is very good, but we don’t grow up that way. I feel that because I actually experienced it. For example, before when there was something which I couldn’t understand in our recordings, I was too shy to ask questions, I felt ashamed, and hated to be looked down on, so I studied very hard at home and mastered it by our next recording. And it finished there. If I had asked someone and learnt it then and there, I could have learnt various things. I felt like I had broken off my growth by myself, by being stubborn like that. So I learnt to show my weakness and immatureness honestly, because I thought it was no use to be stubborn like that, and tried to open my weakness, learn whatever I can learn, and absorb what I can. It’s not the time to make myself look good now.(laugh) Showing off is more awkward for me. 

I see. You grew up, didn’t you?

Gradually.(laugh) But I can’t see my changes myself, because I became to think like that just recently.

Since around when?

Around when our former tour finished. It finished just few months ago so I haven’t felt my changes yet(laugh), and it seems to be so gradual. My thinking is like that because I joined alice nine., and learnt from members and fans, I think.

Now you can face yourself head on.

Yes, I really think so.

Did you have any memories of when you couldn’t face yourself and struggled?

Yes I have. Once I thought about “What’s the meaning to live?”. There was a time that whenever I had bad luck I thought negatively like “There’s no use to live,”. As I wrote in the lyrics of [FANTASY], when my friend died in an accident in junior high school, I felt for the first time that humans become nothing after death. Well, I experienced human death for the first time in elementary school, when my grandmother died, but at that time I was only a child, so I just thought that humans die and that’s it. When my classmate died in junior high school, the shock was too big to understand, and it took me a long time to understand that I would never see him again. But after that I thought “Humans really end when they die.”, then I never thought like “It’s no use to live.”. Now I think I was really weak and searching for an escape. Thinking like “It’s no use to live.” itself is an escape, I think. I’m a type who goes to talk to anyone by myself, but once I talk with them and feel like “I don’t fit with this person.”, I never go to them again.(laugh) Then I think I’m trying to hide my weakness from them. Recently even if I feel in my stomach that “He seems difficult to me.”, I try to talk with that person. I changed a little bit in this way. Well, I won’t go to a person who I feel “I can’t get along with.”, which has not changed.(laugh) Um, how can I say it? Basically I’m a passionate man who rushes head first into things, but with people it’s not really the case. (laugh) I really feel I’m rather picky.(laugh) Well, am I going to change as I’m growing into an adult?(laugh) That’s still unknown.

I think so too. You change through your experiences, so you have many unknown parts yet. From now on, your way of thinking seems to change after you have various experiences. Is there any advice from ‘the present Hiroto’ to others?

I feel like I’m in my 2^nd stage of life now. I think you are in your 1^ststage. Me in the 2^nd stage can’t see me in the 3^rd stage yet, and I can’t imagine which experiences will make me feel what. So I think you in the 1^st stage can’t understand completely about what adults say even more than me. If you escape from this, you can’t grow up, nor understand them, so first of all, you should experience anything and everything, I think. So don’t be afraid, do your best, and start to experience! And have the courage to face your weaknesses first, so you’ll get real strength.

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Tora

What do you think these days as you’re living?

Recently I don’t think about anything. Not good.(laugh) Before I was thinking about lots of things, and I’m not thinking about anything now, which is maybe a reaction to that? I only think about our band. Now I can do what I want to do, so I don’t have to think about other things, nor need to worry. When I was a teenager, I was always worrying about things.

What did you worry about?

Well, about everything.(laugh) I didn’t understand the meaning of going to school or study, like “Why do I have to go? Why do I have to do this?”. I hated everything that was pre-determined like school, because it was not my will, and I couldn’t understand the meaning why I would have to go, so I felt that I wasted my time and rebelled against it very much. Now I think everything is necessary, even if I do something not concerning about our band directly, so I don’t have anything to doubt nor worry anymore.

You now think that because you turned your former experiences into advantages.

Maybe. Now I can be a member of alice nine. because I met Shou.

Do you feel like your life is restrained by something invisible and cosmic?

I don’t feel restrained. I believe in fate more than before. I feel like everything is connected to alice nine.. Since I started alice nine. I had various experiences of defeat, failure and reflection, but all of them were going in a good direction for me, that’s why I feel like that.

Yes. Like that, your meeting with a guitar is also fate or destiny so to speak.

Yes. I really think it was destiny, because I met the guitar and rock, which was sudden. In my 6^th grade of elementary school, my friend bought a guitar, since then my rock life started as I was forced to be a band member.(laugh) There weren’t members, and my friend said “I’ll play guitar, so you’ll play bass.”, I started to play bass which my friend had. And I started to listen to BOΦWY and X JAPAN, as I was absorbed in Western music since I met metal music in junior high school. Meeting the guitar and music changed the people who I met, I think. See, people who like rock are called ‘hooligans’ (laugh), I won’t say everyone is, but many are bad and a little crooked.(laugh) Actually my friend who introduced me to the guitar in elementary school wasn’t normal at all. Usually elementary school students seem to want to buy games which cost about 1,000 yen, but he had a guitar and a bass that cost about 20,000 – 30,000 yen, which wasn’t common at all. My parents watched on TV that X-JAPAN broke a drum set, and said to me “Don’t watch!”.(laugh)

Which band did you listen to for the first time?

METALLICA and PANTERA.

Wow, those are really heavy metal.(laugh) And slash kei. Why did you feel attracted to them?

In metal, guitars are big. Anyway they are fast and heavy, and their guitar sounds stand out, which shocked me.

That’s true. I was absorbed in metal too in my junior high school, so I understand you (laugh), like “Wow, what’s this!?”. At that time I didn’t know how to see the music especially like ‘The guitar riffs are….”, so it was like “That’s awesome! What’s this!”.(laugh)

Yes, yes, yes.(laugh) It was just shocking like “Wow~~, it’s so cool!!!”. Then I was totally absorbed in guitar, since then I became obsessed by it.

So you found a reason to live, so to speak?

No, not quite. I worried a lot about entering high school “Why do I have to go to high school?”.

The origin of your worrying was really about following established rules.

Yes. My parents were quite strict, especially about my studies and education. I advanced to high school and distanced myself from the guitar. I lost my confidence.

Did you loose your confidence? For the guitar?

Guitar too, in my junior high school I was crooked and tried to put on airs. I could play guitar, did quite well at school because my parents were strict, and I had enough power among my friends, so I was a little over confident. But when I entered into high school, I had seniors and I had setbacks then. I entered into a rather bad high school too, so I tried to blend in with those around me, and I always struggled.

But usually such a struggle or stress is relieved by music, right?

It wasn’t like that for me. By contrary, I stopped the guitar, and then I didn’t have any way to release stress. I was also in a group of hooligans, and I couldn’t stop going to school to keep up with them. So I was struggling for 3 years. I started playing guitar again after I graduated from high school. When I decided my future, I decided that I would play guitar properly again, and went to a collage for about 1 year, then I couldn’t feel or understand the meaning to study in school, and decided to make a band to continue playing guitar. But I couldn’t find members for about 2 years, and was irritated. I had a high ideal for my band, because I didn’t want to do my band by half, so it took me quite long time. I felt the possibility for a band when I met Shou. Until then, I was always struggling and worrying about “Is it really OK for me?”.

How did you meet Shou?

Another guitarist who played with me in a band, had played in a band with Shou before.

How did you meet the another guitarist?

A friend of mine, who played in a band in junior high school, knew a senior, who knew a junior. It was so complicated.(laugh) Now I think the meeting with the senior was also destiny. He was 2 years senior to me, and one day I was in elementary school when I was riding a bicycle, you know the ones with the basket at the front, and suddenly a senior jumped out at me and demanded my bike. He then put fallen leaves into the basket, set them alight and ran off (laugh). That was the first meeting with him. Then I entered into a junior high school, and in a school festival the senior played guitar in his band, and I said “That’s that guy!”. Then my friend who introduced me to the guitar became a friend with the senior, then we 3 became to play together.

It was such an unnatural meeting that I feel like it was rather inevitable.(laugh)

Yes.(laugh) I learnt to play the guitar from him. He was so good that he didn’t seem like a junior high school student. He aimed to make a professional band, but he died…. Well how can I say he died by an accident or a suicide. I regretted that very much. I might seem cold because I didn’t go to his funeral. Since we each started bands respectively we hardly saw each other, and I heard from others that he died. One of the reasons was his band wasn’t going well. And he was depressed. But whatever his reasons, I thought it was wrong to kill himself, so I didn’t go to his funeral. I’ve seen various people or hooligans as I was among them. Many knew the same pains from their complicated home environments, however, I was a little different from them, because I grew up in good environment with both parents lacking for nothing. But because I grew up together among them, I knew various pains and weaknesses, I think. They knew I was not the same kind of man who really knew their real pains, but they were my friend. Now I think it was also destiny to meet them. If I hadn’t of experienced all this, and been what I was in high school I wouldn’t be me now. I think that this is the period that I really become the real me.

I understand. Is there any message from the present you that you would like to extend to readers?

If the present me can look back and say something, it is that there is nothing useless in lives. Even if we think it useless, it really connects us to something, so I want you not to give up in a way. You don’t have to do things to express, but I hope you live with all your might, which I think is absolutely necessary in life.

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Saga

I would like ask you to tell us what you are thinking these days, Saga-sama.

Oh, well, that’s a wide theme.(laugh) What do I think living these days? Hmm….Ah, is it OK if I tell you a heavy story?(laugh) Recently, I think about my parents often. Before, their presence was all too natural to think about them, but one day suddenly, our situation turned around, I used to be the one to be worried about, but now I worry about them these days.

I understand that very well. There is a time when we have to take care of them.

Yes. But from a parents’ point of view, it seems complicated. As they look at me, they think I have grown up but they also feel lonely, I think. It’s the same for me, that I feel for my parents. So for the first time, I realized that like “Ah, I’m grown up enough….”, and at the same time when I saw my shoes had became bigger than other shoes lined up at the front door I felt a little bit lonely and sad.

When did you feel that for the first time?

I felt that around in the 3^rd grade of my high school for the first time. At that time, my body was growing very quickly, and my mental growth was fastest, I think.

Before, did you think “I want to grow up fast.”?

Yes. I wanted to be an adult fast. But actually I grew up and thought that, it was easier to live thinking nothing and being honest in my childhood. When I realized that to be an adult is sad like this, I changed my feeling like “I want to be child as I used to be.”.

What is your sadness when you became to be an adult?

When I lie because I feel I have to. Lies to deceive someone are not good at all, but we adults sometimes tell lies as we look around the air and think better to tell lies. When I tell such lies, I feel sad, thinking like “Where did I learn such a lie….?”, I’m always thinking about others’ feelings. I think first in my head before I say things like “If I say this, how would others feel?”. There are times when I would rather tell a lie because I think it’s better to do so, which makes me feel sad. I want to hold dear my feelings of “Why am I telling a lie?” or “Why do I need to lie?”.

Yes, I don’t know why, but we tell such lies. We find out as we grow up. At around when you wanted to be an adult, what did you think would change when you became an adult?

It’s very simple but I thought adults were cool. Musicians who I liked were adults, and I thought when I grew up I could make a cool band.

I see. So now being an adult, which part do you think was childish as you grew up?

I carelessly depended on people who guarded me, and I worried about various things.

So this part of you that worried, was your childish part?

Yes. Sometimes ‘worrying’ is important but my former worries seem to be me being soft on myself. They seem to be ‘excuses for what I can’t do’. You know, “Why I can’t do it.”. I would worry about before I ever did anything. “Maybe I can’t…” with this thinking nothing would ever get resolved, it was just on excuse.

I see. You can move forward without worrying, which sometimes brings winning because of youth. On the other hand, Adults worry about what would be in front, how others would feel if they do something, and be afraid to go ahead and stop.  

Yes. If you think that way, it’s really difficult. I learnt to do things before I worry, after I had many experiences, I wouldn’t worry anymore because I became an adult who can recognize and reveal my weakness, I think. But before I had a force which I could dive in without thinking about what would happen later.(laugh) The lies which I learnt when I became an adult, eventually turn into worrying about what would happen from here on in, how others would feel if I would do so, being afraid to step ahead and stopping. I think we worry about many things at a young age. Yes, I understand that very well.(laugh)

Shou and Tora said they don’t worry anymore these days, but how about Saga-sama?

Well, I don’t worry either. Not like I don’t worry but, I can see from various angles. And as I said now, I now think there is no use to worry before you do something. Before, I used to be afraid to fail and couldn’t step ahead, but now I think I can see new things since I failed, then I don’t have to worry anymore.

So you learnt to stand up to a task before worrying?

Yes. Now I feel like another me in my mind whispers to me and says,” Do it like this!” before I worry about it.(laugh) But that needs a lot of power, before I often felt it was a hassle to make another me in my mind to do it.(laugh) For example, if I faced something needing courage, and there was no other way to go, but I didn’t have courage and worried about things so I wouldn’t have to do it. But now I can hear my inner voices and have courage, I don’t worry about it anymore.

Is it because you met alice nine., that you feel stronger?

Yes, it is. I think the environment around me influenced me a lot. If I didn’t become a member of alice nine., I wouldn’t have found the importance of people around me so much, and I wouldn’t have a sense of responsibility like I do now. I’m more an adult now because I was in an environment where I had to think. It changed me, my interests, my vocals and how I see life.

Before, when you had a conversation with a bassist in SHOXX bis, you said so too.

Yes. Before, I always thought about standing out, but now I think about supporting others from one step behind. I really think so. I didn’t have an eye to see the whole picture, but I only saw myself. I used to only see easy stuff, or things that stand out and popular things (laugh), that I wanted to be like. You know, everything was all right as long as I was all right. But now I can see those around me, and I’m interested in them, and I think that it’s cool. Since I became a member of alice nine., I have come to think “I want the band to be cool”, rather than “I want to be cool.”. I can think this because I’m in alice nine.. I think “What can I do to make the band shine brighter?”. I think this because of not only members but also fans who hold us dear, and I really thank them.

Then what advice does the present Saga-sama give to your fans, looking back over the past?

Don’t fake it, and believe in yourself. I think that this deadens your worries naturally. And don’t be afraid to fail, and face up to what you have to. If you fail, I’m sure someone will help you. I’m not saying turn to others for help, but I’m saying you are not alone. Like me, you may have times when you don’t notice other’s kindness and love. But now I think we are living because we are helped by people around us a lot, so you don’t just depend on them, and don’t forget to thank them. So you never think “I’m alone.”. In your young age, you have a delusion that you can do everything by yourself. Well…. I’m sounding like an old man.(laugh) But I really think so. I thought I could do everything by myself. But I was wrong. Even I can’t work hard without staff and fans supporting me. And you might think what your parents’ say and their very existence is annoying, but I’m sure you’ll have time to thank them and your situation will turn around, so I want you to notice this importance before it’s too late. 

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↓Nao

What is today’s subject?

It’s [Present Nao].

Present Nao….Directly speaking, what do you want from me?(laugh)

Nothing in particular.(laugh) This is a free talk without any punch lines, so I just want you say whatever you think.

Do you want me to make you laugh? (laugh)

No.(laugh) It’s all right, in your case you naturally evoke laughing, Nao.(laugh)

OK.(laugh) How am I these days…?

So what’s on your mind recently?

Many things. I really think about a lot of things. We are living in the world of bands, but I’m very interested in people who are active in the world of entertainment such as actors, actresses, artists and dubbers. Especially actors, actresses, and dubbers give us totally different impressions depending on the role they play. Watching them, I think they are awesome and professional, I wonder “What are their real faces?”. If I was a friend of an actor, I would probably think “Is he acting?”.(laugh) As you see, I’m always Nao both in the band of alice nine. and as a guy. Of course when I stand on stage as a member of alice nine., I’m connected to Nao of alice nine. more than usual, but I don’t act or change my character. In this way, I think actors are great. I didn’t think about it before.

I take it you think so because you came to be on the stage, rather than looking at it?

Maybe.

Although you are not an actor nor a dubber, a person like Nao who isn’t shy but cheerful, can become gloomy and down when you are alone. Like there is a gap in you, expressing the outside you and the inner you.

Well, I’m usually quite interesting.(laugh)

Yes.(laugh) In alice nine., the calm character of Tora seems to have less difference between his character on the outside and his inner self.

I understand you well! But I’m positive even in my inner self. (laugh)

Are you? But you feel down often, Nao. Well, at least I think that we easily see when you are down. It’s like “I’m depressed!”. (laugh)

Ahahaha. Yes, you are right! I feel down deepest when I feel down.(laugh) But I start thinking like “Wait, I don’t have to feel so down!”, and soon I become positive.(laugh) Especially these days, I can change my way of thinking like this often.

So you don’t have any worries?

Yes. I have worries. My biggest worry is now about alice nine.. My worry is that “All of the other members of alice nine. except me are good looking, but I have soft features so the balance of the band is broken.”. So I promised last year to fans that I was going to ‘Tsun-dere’ which means cool but a little bit gentle, but I haven’t changed yet.(laugh) 

Well, maybe you shouldn’t over do it?

I think so too!(laugh)

Nao, have you always been like this?

Yes, I have.(laugh)

And you are still positive?

Yes. I’m still positive. Before, I used to be more positive. I thought like “I’m the leader in this world!” in my childhood.(laugh) But I found it was my misunderstanding when I was in high school.(laugh) It was late.(laugh)

Yes, it was! (laugh) So didn’t you worry about anything in your adolescence?

I didn’t have anything in particularly to worry about.(laugh) I was like “When is my adolescence?”.(laugh) I have been living very positively, and interested in various things all the time.

That’s great.(laugh) So you are interested in actors and dubbers most these days?

Yes and Akihabara, which is called the new Japanese capital! I seem totally ‘Otaku’ (laugh), but I’m not a fan of anime. Honestly speaking, I don’t see anime at all. I like the atmosphere of underground of Akihabara. The town is really strange. When I go to back alleys, there are many small shops which sell a lot of junk, which makes me feel excited. I feel like I’m finding a place where I can escape from reality. It’s so unique everything is never slow but restless in that town, and very interesting to be in it. I’m watching various people these days in Akihabara, and I’m trying to see various lives. I’m quite interested in lives of people who aren’t mainly working in music, so I can see people’s real nature. As for alice nine., it’s really good that our music is liked, but I’m also happy that not only our music but also our members, are liked as a humans too.

I think that you look at everything in this way, Nao.

Yes, that maybe so.

But in contrast to what Nao thinks, some people think that you should pay less attention to the people, and just listen to the music.

Yes. But for me, I become interested in people through what they say and do, and once I like them, I can listen to their music and see their performance more deeply. So I’m happy if I’m looked as a person.

I see. Nao, are you a type of person who goes out of your way to people who you meet and become interested in like “I want to be your friend.”?

Me? Um….Sometimes both I suppose.(laugh) Sometimes I go aggressively, and sometimes I can’t go even if I want to(laugh), but when I have to, I do.(laugh)

When you met the members, you told me you went to them aggressively, and talked with them for about 3 hours.(laugh)

Yes.(laugh) Well, now I think I’ll broaden my horizons and I want to get to know people in various fields and to know them as people. A knack to make friends is saying something like “Hi, it’s nice to see you! Do you want me to be your friend?” changing my voice.(laugh) I think it’s good to aim making him or her think that I’m strange but have something interesting about me too……

It seems very you.(laugh)

You think so too?(laugh) As I have such feelings, when I do our lives, I feel like I want you to know the inner feelings of alice nine.’s members, one by one, and I try to do our lives sincerely with all my heart.

I see. Now what message do you want to give to fans from the present Nao?

Now? Well, I think nothing starts unless you move, so it’s important to start moving. As for me, my prompt to start playing drums was so simple, and I never thought that I would continue to play drums up until now, or go into the musical field. Originally I didn’t want to do normal work, and I wanted to be a person who expresses something in particular. At first I was longing to be a sommelier who expresses ‘tastes’, and if I would play in a band, I definitely wanted to be a vocalist who expresses my feelings directly. But there wasn’t a drummer among the band’s members, so I played drums because I wanted to play in a band with those members even though I couldn’t be a vocalist at that time. And now I can say I want to be a drummer. We don’t know where chance is, so don’t be afraid to start moving and look for yours! Well, when I decided to go into the musical field, my parents were opposed to it and worried at first, so I think you might also have the same problem. I can’t say like “You have to shake them off and stick to it at all costs!”, but I think you would be better to start walking in the direction you want, while you listen to the opinions of adults who have experienced a lot! As you know, your feelings and character appear on your face. You work hard so your looks will be bright and happiness will come to you. You keep gentle so your looks will be gentle. First of all, brush up your minds, and do your best!